Wednesday, December 29, 2004



getting beta le la.. i getting adapted to the place le.. noe hwo to make jokes n b more ease with them le.. hah but duno why when i m bz i feel more happier.. n i love to dodge arrows.. n the colleagues help me alot.. thanks them la.. haha. n the sir nt bad la.. quite nice tempered..


hmmm now is the only day i can bk out lo.. rets of the days i will b cooped until fri..haiz.. new yr.. oo latest news is tat we may do until 5pm.......!$#!$@#$%@#%@

hai~~ fucked up saf.. wan to celebrate new yr..hee.. chalet plus bbq with lots of gals

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

bz bz bz

so much thing to do yet so few time.. stupid army .. wan me do ot.. dun wan dun wan..

sian but today is the bsuiest day in mary.. tink will haf more n more of this life..

looking forward to new yr celebration becoz

it is wkend .. i dun work

i m looking forward to every wkend......

pls pls let time go fast

n pls let my life run smoothly

no gf i dun mind
no happiness i dun mind
i just wan my life to b peaceful

Sunday, December 26, 2004

xmas n xmas eve

xmas eve

beta write it down.. at least will remember wat i do for xmas next

hahahaa.. erm off at fri 3pm.. sian 1/2.. still haf to hear rsm lecture.. he totally sux..

den reach home.. tired tired. but haf to prepare for aljunied trip at 6

left house at 550.. wahaha.. super late??

nono.. actually the second 1 to reach.. but see the main char soon after i reach.. wendy they all.. den wait for wendy fren ricko.. okie full house.. wendy tricia cynthia coby me weelung ricko.. haha.. chee chun coming later..

hmm go eat dim sum.. actuali quite close to aljunied mrt.. geylang lorong 27 i tink or 9.. dun reali remember.. lolz.. call a huge spread of dim sum..a ll kinds.. nt bad la.. steamy n delicious.. lidat la

eden observe someting.. wah guys dressed sloppily while gals dressed supoer nice.. lolz.. we all dressed in sandals n shorts.. while gals all dressed n look quite formal.. but they look they just went shopping..haha.. sian 1/2...

very sexy too..*wink*

hmm tink the onli thing i remember frm tat aljunied dim sum trip is tat i being bullied lo
she steal my ic n kept it in her personal bag... kaoz.. cannt snatch it frm her.. she dressed until lidat.. wait she say i molest.. zzz.. so rest of trip.. being bullied lo n helped them carry shopping car.. wo hao ke lian ah

den hmm eat until 9 plus den go walk walk.. wan to walk to eat dou hua.. but ring ring.. chenwei ring to say they gt tickets for kungfu at 930.. haf to rush there.. frm aljunied to toa payoh.. take taxi wor.. but nt bad la.. 1.80 per person i guess.. den zzzzzzzzzzzz.. nice seats frm chenwei mean frt row seat.. omg.. sit until my neck long lo.. but reali enjoy the movie.. reali luff until pengz.. tears come out of my eyes lehz.. mus watch la.. but hmm reali very lame movie.. hee.. so i like it very much

nice movie
nice movie nice movie..

den see finish..

11plus plus
going to b xmas le.. haha.. but we duno wat to do next..either go town clebrate or wat.. in the end we just sit there chat lo..
but ahem cw suggest us to go church see see.. in the end onli half the grp go see.. so my mmoery of xmas countdown will b a huge grp of ppl sining silent nite..zz.. candles.. father toking.. n this lyric" tonite a saviour has come to us.. he is christ the lord.."

funi church proceeding
but feel quite peaceful..
reali hope to haf a new life..

haha after tat church countdown.. den again duno wat to do next le..

den in the end separate again
2 went home
rest go neighbourhood eat roti prata..
haha nice yummy..
den go home by taxi..z.z

tink is my most eventful; xmas eve ever

footnote: i hate to tok abt army.. why every1 must tok abt army.. wkday tink of army is gd euff.. dun tok army stuff ever to me again"


wahaha.. nite abt 4 am reach home nslp..
so i slp slp to 11 plus
den online
den slp again
den online
den slp again

haha ppl ask me go out
too tired hack care
slp to 8pm eat dinner


so xmas is abt sleeping

Thursday, December 23, 2004

hmm long time nv write.. nthg much to write.. i dying of ns boredom


if i get pes A n go chiong, will i feel beta?

if i dun chao keng in bmt, will i b afraid of wat lies ahead of me?

if i dun ask for repostment, will i feel happier?

lots of qn n

but tink i definitely regret the day i ask for repostment,..

frm a cushy 8-5 job to now a stay in camp where i expected to serve the country for 24 hr, this is definitly nt wat i expected of a gd life

of coz i dun expect a slack life in army
but this is the most xiong for a clerk like me liao
like one colleague say " this is living hell"

i m nt adapting well to the life at all.. i definitly nt jelling well with the ppl thee.. haizz.. alway seem to b alone in doing things.. alway tag along

hai~~ m i fated to b like this?

hmm.. living life at bedok camp
wonder whether i ever survive it

kill me b4 i kill myself~~

Friday, December 17, 2004

time to update my blog

hmm.. for past few days i m hapi to experience

1) the advantge of having hair over no hair
2) the office politics
3) the stupid army procedures
4) the sai kang tat can b found in a day is enormous

haha.. first time i feel quite ok.. hmm maybe can settle down to the idea tat i going to b in a camp for the best part of life,, 2 yrs is quite long..
first day i go into camppppp: i forced to wait 1 hr for the chief clerk.. tat cool i cum earlier mah abt 15 min b4 the given time.get to see a different world of bmt.. but i getting to enjoy it.. scared of the arrows.. scared of going oversea field camp to brunie n taiwan next yr
man ting i still duno la.. my upppderstudy like bo hiew le.. den i osos sian to learn.. every1 suay oso... New Co..

few days kip do super kang.. nth to tink much.. hope life will b as easy as this will n may it b fast fast..a rghh i m started to ostracised beczo i dun share same interest in rhwm.. =v
they being beng typi i
si bei tired
next time den update military lifw

Monday, December 13, 2004

wah first day of work

lolz.. now is 545am monday morning.. any tots for the day?
stress lehz.. so far mrt trup plus uncertain work conditions..
2 yrs o this kind of life..
can i take it?
transport expenses can b up to 1/3 of my pay
long bum hurting trip
lots of craps n stars.. superiors who need to b saluted..
unfamiliar surroundings..

haiz.. wat can i tink more.. duno lehz.. go there then noe le..

btw spend a great day sunday..

morning go cineleisure for kbox lunch.. sing sing sing to 3pm.. hmm surprise is tat lijun come lo.. no fly kite.. maybe becoz weather too rainy le ba..haha.. any tots of her.. i keep it to myself.. but ah.. wah it hard to entertain ppl for long period of times.. tink i very lousy.. sorry for tat.. n perhaps me too talkative n frenly n even irritating..haha.. aiya duno la..

zz nite den go eat steamboat play billards.. nt bad la.. but spend quite alot.. xmas no need go anywhere le la..haha.. interesting day la.. but it will alway end

Sunday, December 12, 2004

=) soccer walk ard gathering with old fren


tired day sia

wake up at 7 plus .. but game at 9 too early.. take nap.. wake up alreadi 8 30..-.-... rush lo.. reach tp by 905.. army efficiency.. ty
play play.. nice lehz today.. keep scoring goals.. somore score with back heel.. pro pro.. fun la the game..
tp astroturf best to play soccer.. yeah///

den come home ard 2.. damn tired lo.. online rest look sky... -.-...... time pass very fast.. soon 6.. haf to run for gathering again

haha.. see wendy n cynthia.. oo wendy grow thinner n dressed up even prettier.. make up oso like very nice.. austral;ia gt makieup lesson??

z.z still like to laugh her way of laughing.. i cannt imitate 1.. her jokes.. pro.. hmm still like to grab my handss.. dot dot dot..

hmm den we go eat ba.. haha i stupid.. i call a fren along w/o her permission.. like make whole atmosphere weird weird.. lolz..lolz dunno how to explain.. but tat 1 nvm la.. worse is my mouth..-.- keep on saying wrong tings.. hmm guess i too self involved.. but me attention seeker..haha.. guess i just shoot to get attention.. stupid me..die la

hmm gathering abit boring.. perhaps she wun invite me again lo.. haha australia gift is a keychain.. cute kangaroo.. but eh ..................

haha.. i feel i these few day i tok alot.. kaoz.. must tone down lo... siao la.. must b releasing all the words i nv say in bmt .. now overloading.. haha.. monday will become diam jincai again..silent as a statue.. yeah

ahh feel living on is a luxury.. hope some 1 take away tat luxury frm me..

Saturday, December 11, 2004

hmm nt bad day

nt bad day..

wake up at 11
eat lunch
check my pay n posting

tio west sg posting..23 mrt station frm tampines..haiz..still duno i stay in or out.. prepared for worst.. sometime i tink it is heaven will.. for a person who dun travel alot even ard sg.. must ffinally abandon safe haven n start to fly le..wat is lot 1 wat is west mall wat is jp.. nv visit b4.. dun even noe how bukit batok mrt staion look like.. hah maybe will see ppl i wun even see if i still live in east sg.. although sg is small.. but still it depend on fate to see some1.. hmm maybe i will see my dream gal at the west ..haha.. maybe she will even work in the same place as lol.. funny how ting will work.. nt bad la.. my posting quite near to few netfrens.. den i gt quite a few platoon mates posted to there... hopefully can help each other.. n poly frens .. 2 of them r posted to west too.. hah after 5 can come out lim kopi.. enjoy west sg amenities..

hmm nthg much to say.. still alot of qn marks abt future life.. all willl b revealed soon..

haha afternoon when i m veri sian n feeling suay.. lol sms come in say she intm waiting for weibo performance at 7pm.. ask me come down.. so hmm i come down lo.. den we walk walk arrd tm.. walk circles i tink.. nt bad la.. can chat along.. but tink i tok the most.. haha tink i appear nervous ma.. i keep on toucvhing cap.. sianz.. nervous.. hmm tok abit lame..=x... laming ard..haha.. bad impression maybe? but dun care la.. lidat lo.. walk 1 hr.. feel time pass slowly.. eh wat will she tink of me? i wonder.....a mystery maybe nt solve...

tml alot event

play soccer morning

eveniong gathering dinner.... hopefully enjoy

Friday, December 10, 2004

welcome to my life

sometime i wish the wind can blow away my sadness............ blow away my life.. time pass veri fast..
now thurday le.. tml my posting will b unveiled.. duno i will thrown into heaven or hell.. i dunnoe n i dun wan to noe.. haiz.. just haf to deal with it.. man i feel tired.. i feel exhausted... i just hope wind blow me away..

wonder how ppl feel at the last moment.. will he ever feel peace even at the last moment of life?

peace peace all i wan is peace.. i dun wan to deal with tings.. wat a coward i m.. but too bad tat how i m..

i dun wan act smiley face.. i dun wan act lame.. i just wish to find something tat will gif me eternal peace

attention seeker i m? hmm i crave attention but i need peace.. wat a weird person i m? maybe i wan ppl to noe how sad how angry how frustrated i m.. maybe this is my libra personality ba.. ahh.. i cannt explain myself.. i dunnoe why i act this way..

Do you ever feel like breaking down?Do you ever feel out of place?Like somehow you just don't belongAnd no one understands youDo you ever wanna run away?Do you lock yourself in your room?With the radio on turned up so loudThat no one hears you screamingNo you don't know what it's likeWhen nothing feels alrightYou don't know what it's like to be like meTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kickedWhen you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downWhen no one's there to save youNo you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeDo you wanna be somebody else?Are you sick of feeling so left out?Are you desperate to find something moreBefore your life is overAre you stuck inside a world you hate?Are you sick of everyone around?With the big fake smiles and stupid liesBut deep inside you're bleedingNo you don't know what it's likeWhen nothing feels alrightYou don't know what it's like to be like meTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kickedWhen you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downWhen no one's there to save youNo you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeNo one ever lies straight to your faceAnd no one ever stabbed you in the backYou might think I'm happyBut I'm not gonna be okEverybody always gave you what you wantedYou never had to work it was always thereYou don't know what it's likeWhat it's likeTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kickedWhen you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downWhen no one's there to save youNo you don't know what it's likeTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kickedWhen you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downWhen no one's there to save youNo you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeWelcome to my lifeWelcome to my lifDo you ever feel like breaking down?Do you ever feel out of place?Like somehow you just don't belongAnd no one understands youDo you ever wanna run away?Do you lock yourself in your room?With the radio on turned up so loudThat no one hears you screamingNo you don't know what it's likeWhen nothing feels alrightYou don't know what it's like to be like meTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kickedWhen you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downWhen no one's there to save youNo you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeDo you wanna be somebody else?Are you sick of feeling so left out?Are you desperate to find something moreBefore your life is overAre you stuck inside a world you hate?Are you sick of everyone around?With the big fake smiles and stupid liesBut deep inside you're bleedingNo you don't know what it's likeWhen nothing feels alrightYou don't know what it's like to be like meTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kickedWhen you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downWhen no one's there to save youNo you don't know what it's likeWelcome to my lifeNo one ever lies straight to your faceAnd no one ever stabbed you in the backYou might think I'm happyBut I'm not gonna be okEverybody always gave you what you wantedYou never had to work it was always thereYou don't know what it's likeWhat it's likeTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kickedWhen you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downWhen no one's there to save youNo you don't know what it's likeTo be hurtTo feel lostTo be left out in the darkTo be kickedWhen you're downTo feel like you've been pushed aroundTo be on the edge of breaking downWhen no one's there to save youNo you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

yea.. welcome to my life.. haiz rotten life

Thursday, December 09, 2004

haiz.. fall sick

morning wake up dun feel very well

get sore thorat
keep coughing
fever abit

lol tink body "hot":

sian .. but then nthg to look forward. so boring life

can go paya lebar in afternoon but too tired n sick to go.. wan go jp even cannt la

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

8th dec 2004- 5 days after my grad

hmm. duno wat to say lehz.. just feel days pass so fast.. a blink of eye.. i finished my bmt n now i in the middle of wk.... friday den i will noe the result of my posting.. whether i will stay in or stay out.. which mean stay in=> i will haf to stay in camp for wkdays.. onli come out for wkends...haiz sian.. duno new camp will gt internet connections arnot.

will i make new frens??

i getting to miss my bmt days.. i had mixed feeling when i get on my last ferry, my last bus ride to pasir ris interchange.. i say gdbye to my bunk, i say gdbye to my frens, i even say gdbye to ferry terminal.. i watch tekong disappear frm the edge of my eyes.. i feel like crying..haha
reali lo.. best of all i tink i miss the companionship, the comradeship tat is bonded over 7 wks.. i miss being lol
bt hmm i oso glad to leave there.. i reali tired of living in fear of confinement n punishments n scoldings..

tekong tekong.. o.0 ghost stories alot.. i actually encountered some in my bunk.. my buddy cupboard will sometime hear knocking sound for no reason.. n i gt see shaking of the cupboard.. quite eerie.. lol... we couldnt see any way how the cupboard can shake or why gt knocking sound.. den when in the dead of nite, i alway get the feeling tat i m being watched.. tekong ah at nite is quite scary..haha.. bt i nt scared=P.. if i dun disturb them, they wun disturb me... in tekong still gt other more scarier ghost stories bt i nv encountered it personally so cannt prove it.. n i heard frm my segerants tat my company building gt quite a few ppl jump b4... gt 1 even stabbed himself with lol.. lol..

hee.. actually hor i nv reali get to exercise alot in bmt.. i usally chao keng 1.. n somemore there isnt alot of physical stuff.. i alway lie in bunk sleeping:P.. n listening to music.. or hear ppl tok rot.. now i noe guys in singapore very horny 1..haha.. my bunkmate even get his gf pregnant n now is father of 4 yr gal.. horny horny..zz*admire?*

n i made quite alot of frens inside.. n i tink they tink well of me ba.. alway like to tease me.. bt hmm i nt a talkative person.. so i alway use my shy look.. i nt a gd talker..haha..

eh tink i quite popular ba.. hmm still havent get my pics.. i gt quite alot funni pics.. i =x even fingered my segrant using my bandaged finger..

hmm euff of army life.. tok abt past few days..


nthg much.. whole afternoon online play game den go out to watch soccer with fren.. lllidat 1 day gone.. wat a waste of time:X.. why no interesting ting happen to me


same same la.. play soccer in the morining.. very tiring.. afternoo 2 plus come back to dress for nite marina bay trip.. so sad lijun nv come.. she say she lol.. alex is looking forward to her presence.. in the end she nv go..haiz.. disappointed.. i reach the mrt station at 505pm.. rest heavtn reach yet.. i stand there for awhile n then they start streaming in.. lol gt 6 ppl(kuang cw wl cc wq alex).. we then go marina bay togther.. hehe den i very qian.. i push them towward long village where my netfren chienwen is working at..

wahaha.. we sit there n she nv notice.. den i keep looking at her=x.. saw her sis working there too.. whole family i lol.. quite enjoyable.. teasing her through sms.. gt 1 time ask her to add soup but she zao..zzzzzzzz... den ask her marina bay gt atm ma? den she say tanjong pagar mrt..she suaning me???

lol.. dun relai tok to her.. but i haf enjoyable time at marina bay toking rot with frens.. but pity no gals=x

monday==> slp whole day
tuesday=>? slp whole day

wah i live a interesting life..

Sunday, November 28, 2004

eh my last book out b4 ns

hmm now i realised i nv write alot ting abt my ns.. my 7 weeks..i wanted to keep a diary but hmm duno y i couldnt keep it on.. duno wat to say la.. just tat everyting is a dream la.. it goes by so fast.. frm a scared teenage boi who duno wat to expect abt ns to now a soldier who hold a gun go field camp disclpined laughed at scolded like shit.. hey i wonder.. did i ever change.. do i find my purpose in living.. i still feel as lonely as ever.. as few as frens i ever haf.. i nt a guy who go after money wealth branded ting.. just a guy who live simply as ever.. a guy who crave to b home.. who carve to b hapi everyday.. where my happiness is.. i do wonder how i survive outside.. can can i reali survive in the real world out there

eh ns life.. blur la..a guy who do nt noe how to march properly.. a guy who as in army tok get f**ked many times. hmm given many nicks bug bunny easter bunny mickey.. treated like joke...a guy who keep being asked to keep my mouth closed becoz segarant dun like to see my mouth open n act like a blurf**k.. haha.. army nt bed of roses..hmm stilll gt 2 more yr to new unit maybe will haf better ting happen.. beta colleague... let hope ba.

but i enjoy my ns life la.. my strict segarants.. noe alot sides of person.. noe myself even beta..
noe tat i a selfish bastard.. i dunnoe how to relate to ppl.. i dunnoe alot ting abt life.. i just nt gd euff ... haha

aiya.. let b hapi abt life ba.. u dream of life beta.. but it dun b beta by itself.. it is ur beliefs tat make it beta..

dun ever give up abt life.. i noe i almost give up.. i noe i cry in slp moaning abt life..
but i wan to haf the will the determination to live to enjoy life given by my parents...
to live the dreams.. to live the hopes...

dun b depressed. frens no matter wat.. there is hope......................

aiya now 3 am.. i siao kia.. still dun slp.. tml gg to play soccer.. hah injured finger bandaged big big duno can play arnot.. hoppe so ba

last 5 days b4 my graduation frm bmt..

Sunday, November 14, 2004

feeling beta

today do lots of stufff
wake up early play soccer.. no skill liao la.. gt lots of chance but nv convert.. lousy me
oo play to lunch time.. but i go eat lunch with 1 of my gd buddy,,
eat talk.. lol tok abt life.. hmm he feel abt the same with me.. hmm but he gt solution to solve the prob while i dun haf the courage or willto solve it.. 1of my bad faults.. hmm i rather let ting happen to me more than i go make thing to happen.. guess i react rather can propose...

guess the sheer thinking of life or the future of urself happen to every1 when they reach certain age after u finished sstudying..

ahhh 1oof some best advice given to me is dun tink too much.... say this is just life..

lol lol i duno wat to tink la.. i alway is a confusd emotionally weak person.. feel i super inferior..

hmm. den after tok tok go home rest awhile den come out again
.. go paya lebar play billards.. lol sit kfc for awhile to rot..haha ..
den go watch soccer..

funny thing happen : the lottery ntuc auntie asked if i m 18 when i buying strike.. haha wah i look so young ah..

even my fren say i look young n cute.. look like teeenager sia when i m bald..haha
stuPId la..

i wan find something tat will make my life a wonderful thing in earth.. wat is tat thing?

Saturday, November 13, 2004

can i live to 21??

today celebrate tan weelung birthday.. haha. he finally

morning 10am rush to toa payoh..kaoz.. do shit thing sia.. just go play bastketball n soccer.. teampines to toa payoh.. so far

play to 3 den take cab back home.. den nap for awhile.. den go tampines mall n century square.. we go eat billy bomer n catch a move later.. ahh.. nice watresses.. food okok la.. make me feel full.. i eat something called mini mixed grill thing.. =x.. like rojak sia.. sauasage lamb chop chiceken thing lucnhenon meat.. egg.. funi.. high class.. get my first ns pay so can go eat...

any speial feelings? hmm gd to see old frens. but somehow ppl r getting on with their lifes.. while i m still stuck.. hey i m still stuck here.. wat should i do.. wat should i say.. i still feel ever so distant.. like i living on another world.. i feel i m dazing ard frm the first day of ns.. my section mate alway mention it to me i wasd like alwat sitting with my eyes dazed n looking "nt there" .. it is like i m dispossessed frm my body.. m i going crazy? can i ever get my soul back?

i tink i gt serious problem..
can some1 save me? can some1 tell me wat wrong with me?
hmm.. i reali hope something some1 will show wat will happen to me to next few years..

can i ever b somebody or b a nobody? i rather b a nobody den b a dead person

Friday, November 12, 2004

cherish ur life?? wat ur life?

hmmm.. once again i feel life is so worthless..
now i experience army life..
i feel even more sian n useless..
alot ting i cannt do.. alot of thing i wan try but dun haf courage..
sometime i wonder wat i live for why i live for...
army life is a prison
no freedom to do things..
if unfair thign happen to u, u just haf lan lan.. bear with it...
becoz life continue..
breakfast lunch dinner night snack==> 1 day
ahh.. 2 yrs of disclipined n taking responsibity..
den many more yrs of my life taking responsibity as a adult..
doing thing nt my will but is becoz of circumstances...
trying to eke out a living on my own..
i feel i haf no aim le..
feel i vastly inferior to other ppl
i reali wonder why i live..
can't any1 let me die..
just let me die...
i dun wan tink.. i dun wan grow..
ahh.. maybe is just my immature tinking.. i oso duno why i tink like this...
i just feel growing up is a painful process..
i fear for my future...
i dun haf lot of frens.. every1 is bz with their lifes
family.. they more n more negrossed in their own things le..
they still care for me i noe..
but i feel more distant

i cannt take it.. gif me something to live for.. oh god tell me something.. hint me.. why n wat should i live for now

Sunday, November 07, 2004

finally i released...=).. but now i m bking in

hmm.. yesterday book out.. my first book out.. i feel hapi when i first step on the singapore soil..haha... i almost wan to shout" i home"

den take a bus to pasir ris den see my first taxi.. my first lorry.. my first hdb flats.. my first condo... when i reach paisr ris interchnage, i almost burst into tears inside..:P den quickly go home.. den see my loved com.. den use it.. LOL... but no 1 is online.. except a few nt so close netfrens.. so sian 1/2..

but nvm.. play gb.. lol.. den went out to eat fast food with family.. lol den go watch movie with frens.. loiter ard.. 10 plus i reach home.. den online lo.. nt bad la.. see lianjiejie..... chat chat play gb.. time pass fast.. feel so stranges towards com..hmmm feel very tired after 11plus..omg.. must b i alway so early slp.. but haha.. i tahan to 2am lehz....see lijun online so late ard 12 i tink... haha she send me yanzi songs.. but Hmmm... tink less 1 song.. tot gt 12 tracks..

hmm.. den wake up at 6 am..haha... kaoz... .. but ah feel sian n duno wat to do..hmm army wake up early sure gt ting to do.. now nthg to do.. feel so funi..i lay at my bed trying to slp but couldnt...hmmm.. feel so sian..

den 12.. i go beach road with chenwei.. wait for cw for 1 hr.. pro.. he so late..-.-..waste my 1 hr.. but hmm gt alot of chio bu seee...hhee.. n they look at me..omg.. i the bald 1 with eye catching

den bought my stuff.. eat lunch with him.. den go home liao.. den use com until now.. now is abt 630pm.. going in soon.. haiz..time pass so fast.... i going into tekong soon..

life in tekong i alreadi accustomed.. although very strict.. but sometime will haf its light hearted moments.. tink i will miss the days inside... hmmm hope i can survive for 3 more wks la.. den graduate .. den get gd postting.. so that i can alway online to late late..=)

i will b back in singapore on wed nite or latest thursday morning.. i wish today is dec hey take care of urselves.. i will tahan inside n b hapi inside

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

last day of freedom

hmm now is 1200am .. i start to write this.. i feel headache n duno wat feeling.. i tink is very down feeling..

today bz day.. i keep reviewing wat to buy n check n check again.. n buy n buy again.. siao 1.. make my day feel bz.. n i feel very heavy-hearted n sick..

later at 745 i will take ferry to tekong n towards to my new life.. ahh.. a few of frens come encourage me.. thank u for concern..

they make me feel happier.. but.. hmm today last day.. n i nv see any netfrens ard .. only gt chienwen.. her mood oso nt gd.. she crazy la.. =x..

sad mood to play gb.. no mood to do anyting.. wan to chat with ppl.. to make me feel hapi.. buut hmm no 1 at all..

sian wor.. feel so down now.. how i going to survive in ns.. arghh..

down jincai= nt nice jincai= bad jincai

hmm should haf prepared for everything in ns ba..

i sure hope i nv leave impt thing behind..

btw, i will b away frm oct 20 to nov 6 i tink..

dun miss me.. but haiz no 1 do..the disappeared netfrens.. guess time haf wash away out frenship=)

ahhh: if u free, pls sms me.. becoz i will b very lonely n bored inside..

hp: 91725710

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

duno wat to tink..

i very confused..

today is my last day liao.. but it seem so dull.. except 1 ki siao charbo=P..keep saying miss suaning me..haha

aiya.. finish my shopping spree.. i buy n buy.. ahh but still lack a few things.. dunnoe wat to tink liao..

nw gg to rain soon.. haa.. thunder alot..omg

i gg to start my new life soon.. 2 yrs issit fast?.. challenges lay ahead of me..

somehow i wish i can b hapi

oo still nv see a few close netfrens.. where they run?

Monday, October 18, 2004


so tired yesterday.. woke up at 950am.. haf to go play soccer with frens at 10.. late~~

but haiz.. reach there onli gt 2 frens nia.. the rest haiz.... all slp late or last min cancelled.. so sad..

den we wait lo.. for abt 1 hr.. hmm den they reached.. den we decided to watch movie..

ahh... my soccer.. sad cnnt play..

watch the sky captain 1.. haha.. very interesting movie.. set in old old time.. but gt futuristic weapon.. like laser gun , big bulky robots, oo n a flying airbase.. haha.. if u like combat action .. u definitely will like the movie. alt of flying n shooting.. haha.. the plot nt bad la.. very ez to follow.. n the chemistry between law n paltroww very gd... so it make quite a gd movie..

den go for lunch .. den they haf to run home to pack for booking in. sad .. but i will join 2 day time.. ty ty... they all welcoming me -.-.. wah their platoon nt so xiong 1.. how abt mine??

hmm.. still did nt really prepare for ns.. havent buy most of necssary things.. haha.. avoiding again..

arghh.. i gg to miss the computer.. i gg to miss looking at soccernet, straitstime n dling songs.. sob sobz.. inside onli gt TODAY

sian sianer sianest..

Sunday, October 17, 2004

hmm sunday.. 3 more day to NS


today nt a gd day for me..

i feel reali disgusted with myself.. for feeling weak emotions.. for wanting to cry.....

my frens book out liao.. hapi for them.. but still havent see them yet..

nth to feel

waiting for the day to come

welcoming the shaver to cut off my hair..

welcoming the day i wear the green uni n say saf pledge..

new style of life.. new kind of person..

i dun haf gd memory.. i could nt even remember wat i do this thing even a wk ago..

hmm hope i nv forget u ba......nv forget the enjoyable times online..

will nv forget i nt a gd person

Thursday, October 14, 2004

abt 100 hrs left of freedom

arghhh. sad man..

100 hrs left

6 days left..

whywhywhy time so fast 1

i feel i haf done nothing...

but i feel fitter..:P i go run n run everyday.. n do push up..lala.. but still nt up to standard.. still lag alot..cannt do 20 push up at 1 time.. after 8 i die

sian wor

Hmm..i get my red dot.. but still nt hapi la.. i haf nt achieved my aim

arghh.. cheated money on tuesday.. nice mp3player but too ex

=(.. dun haf much money left.. hope is euff for rest of thing.. yea yea

Sad says:
Sad says:
Sad says:
Sad says:
when i need some1 to an wei wo,,
Sad says:
u will always b there
Sad says:

=)... gan dong to hear tat frm some1

Monday, October 11, 2004

-.-??........wat is life? wat is love? wat is the future ahead?

if u looking at this entry becoz of its title, i tell u i haf no answer to the above questions..

if i noe wat is llife, why should i alway toking to my netfrens n moaning n crapping abt it?

if i noe wat is love, why should i steadless:P?

if i noe wat is the future ahead, i should go b fortune teller lliao n nt worry constantly abt future..?

ohh crap.. above all is crap..

i spend prev few days tinking alot of days ahead..meaning life in tekong n in ns..BUt still NO conclusion la..onli resolution to myself: i will go into it with my usual enthusiam.. i will rox NS..i wun feel lonely inside.. i will make myself happi inside.. after all, come on i look like uncle:P n personally i tink i very mature in tinking abt most things.. ok la maybe some thing nt yet mature..BUt o_0 i m sure i m 1 strongspirited guy

=)i tinking of my frens inside.. wat they doing now? how they handling life inside? wellmaybe guy look tough outside.. but most guys r a weak bunch mentally.. at least i tink @@.. gt a few guy fren quite emotionally weak..
o.0 i gt my sad moments.. i gt my moments when i feel i wan break down.. i feel sometime i should just die.. but eh when i return to house n see my com, i hapi.. when i see my sis studying n i suan her, i feel hapi when i saw my bro fat stomach n his evergrowing figure, i laugh, whenever i see my second small sis alway smsing away on her hp n looking so ah llian, i feel amused..hey small thing will make u hapi.. try find something tat will make u feel hapi..hEhe..I noe my family love me n i LoVE them.. although gt sometime arguement with my father, but eh part of growing up.. n they will alway b there for me.. i will alway b there for them..

lolx..lolx..hmm gt 3 yr 5 month 7 days n abt 12 hr frm when my mum died.. i tink she will b hapi to see us 4 living so well.. wat she taught us had made us great person.. she is so strict.. i remember.. hmm but hey..our lao er is top 10 in her jc.. n she is top of 2 subject at her level.. n my little bro is top of his sch..hey his english get full mark at his eoy exam ..haha.. feel proud of them.. onli my youngest sis.. haiyo..jia you ba.. not at the top few percentage.. but if u work hard, u can do it 1.. only me is a failure..whywhywhywhy i fail my english at olevel.. whywhywhywhy i just cannt pick myself up after my mum death n move on.....
OoPS..duno why i tok abt it again.. it alway will b my thorn in my heart...maYbe it is survivor guilt..

Wednesday, October 06, 2004


nothing to write.. so above title

sian few day... today is wed 6 oct.. 2 wk more to D-day..

tink i going to continue blog inside tekong..

gb sux.. crazy 1.. nv record gp correctly 1.. i benn eaten so many gp..-.-.. still abt a few hundred to level upp.. eh where my wand dream?-.-".. i reali tink i sux liao.. last time when i gt a goal, i will chiong n chiong until i reach the goal.. even if i dun chiong, tat thing will come naturally to me.. alamak.. m i being too complacent or wat.. wat i aim for nv happen 1.. too many yrs in poly has spoilt me.. where my spirit where my fire..last time when i do things, i alway win... becoz i very competitive.. now? i sux.. a big turtle

uhh.. i become more quiet... nice lehz.. training to b a ping fan ren inside ns..the stand in middle guy

hmm ppl ard me oso become more quiet le..zZzZzzzZZ..

m i leading a quiet life frm now?

M i going to live a life with no aim, motivation N NO life..==> my fren msn nick

brrr.. eh do proj dun b stress.. becoz it nt the end of the world..ppl r nt selfish.. bt ppl tend to protect their interests first..

i wan to jump frm my building.. i wan restart my life... i wan to relive

Monday, October 04, 2004

thank u hoshi

thank u for ur happi bday comment.. i now then see..oso saw ur blog.. wow my bday same as ur fren.. lolx.. but ur fren so lucky 1.. still gt a muackz. n huggies.=(..

eh life nt a bitch la.. n eh dun sound so down...cheers up..

yesterday my birthday..

lolx.. totally gloomy sunday..-.-wake up late den see sky so black..=(.. my birthday is so gloomy.. wat will b ahead of me ??? haiz.. reali getting depressed when i see the day coming soon..

wake up ard 12.. woken by sms..=x... saying i beta dun slpping now.. but i m.. oops

den sian sian see sky.. black.. totally no mood to see lian jiejie..hee.. paisehz.. n then my father called to tell me to help him in work.. sian... wasted my afternoon.. but i very surprised to seee my lunch= kfc ultimate chicken..muahaha.. my sisters buy for me 1.. ty ty...being ur korkor gt privleges although i dun reali gif u stuff n gift.. bad korkor..=P.. den nite come back after pizza hut.. the otah pizzaa.. wow.. fastfood birthday lunch n dinner..lolx..haha.. it must b becoz i keep on saying tat thing look gd on tv den they so nice buy for

=( finally thank u to those who wished me hapi bday.. haha.. be it belated or wat..=P.. many belated.. ty to those who send hapi bday msg n nice picturemsg frm eug

n finally thank for this msg " hey birthday boy! go where play now? haha.. birthday on sunday good or not? got girls date u out or not? hahahaha"

it totally make my day...-__-"
oo n thanks to those who mention me in thier blog.. wow at least gt a name in ur entries..
oo thanks to peishan for making my name big big in the bluedome channel
oo thank to those who gif me presents.. n thank to those who nv gif me presents
wow.. so many thanks

Sunday, October 03, 2004

today is 20th birthday...

eh bday is like every bday.. quiet as alway... but this yr more quieter.. becoz frens all inside le..

nv receive hapi bday sms.. but guys mahz.. we dun really do this stuff..

but hmm netfrens dun haf oso.. so i tink tat is tat lo...

dun reali advertise my bday like last yr..haha.. becoz last yr is first yr i celebrate it online mahz..=P

eh sianz liao.. dun wan tink it is my bday.. n when looking to the NS date.. i more n more depressed..

awww.. frm all evidence, i will go into xiong company.....everything will b strict.. i will change i tink...

change to wat? i duno.. bt based on this evidence i will really surprised to find me online at all next year..

hope tat every1 live well.. n hope i will b hapi n contented inside NS.. tat my bday wish.. ahaha.. some1 say shouldnt say bday wish out becoz it wun then come true..

bt seriously i hope this wish come true.. yea yea..

miss u all

Saturday, October 02, 2004

ATTituDe ppl r VeRI irritatinG


today i so suay.. see so manygals who r obvioously nt in gd mood

o.o the first 1... she actually scold bad word to me lehz...-.-"

so violent

the second 1.. ppl hao xin go ask her relax.. she alway bz mahz.. n ignore ppl 1.. while her erm clasmate very relax play gb:P.... n the other 1 erm look free on msn.. n nt so fierce like the BZ gal when i tok to her

kaoz.. irritating when ppl go keep arghh n go crazy.. n ask me to go look for other ppl chat.. wat so big deal with grades.. even if u Get all Bs in poly, u will haf chnace to go into uni 1... now uni very open to poly grad..BOO

Hehe the third 1 no attitude to me la.. gt warn me.. but she so quiet..LOL

poly is stress meh.. now i tink i feel so relaxed tat time.. i still can score lots of B.. i still rmemeber when i do proj, i still msg away with using msn.. n in sch keep on irc n so on.. yawn.. relax la


Thursday, September 30, 2004

nth happen.. i feel glad..


nth happen..
so nice
whole day online again..
take specs in afternoon.. i look batman
rain whole day
o.o see yz nick until bth
o.o chat with miss crappy..=D.. nice nick?
eh....normal day la.....................

oh 21 days to NS.. n abt 4 days to bday?

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

erM I hope i will Forget ppl

haha.. today is wed 29th sept==> CW enlistment day.. gd luck to him..n thank him for giving me a expensive nt bad la.. you xin.. something to remember u by..wahaha.. beside tat 29 yr old gal.

hmm.. monday spend whole day at WWW.. get wet n wet n wet... play many rides.. but only the slide up is very interesting.. n dangerous.. when i play for first time.. haha.. my face turn white....=x.. it is damn scary.. no protection sia.. if overturn.. sure hurt badly.. den play other rides.. haha.. must haf play a dozen times.. in the end.. leg turn wiggly.. climb up so many stairs.. n still haf to walk in the strong current in the shiok river. duno how to swim mahz haf to walk..:'(

interesting n fun day. nice to spend it woith frens

haha.. tuesday.. rot at home.. but whole day slp.. becoz gloomy.. no mood play com..

hMM.. WHEN fRENship turn into memories.. i tink is becoz of less chat less seeing each other.. so we will become memories..haiz..

arghh.. duno is becoz i saw them in real life.. n then i feel hard to tok to them.. or they find it hard to tok to me.. hmm getting less n less courageous toking to them.. so hard to tok.. n they dun let me haf a meaningful conversation with them..most of the time i m laming ard....

hmm tink they will forget me..they dun feel a need to at least chat with me.. or wanting to noe how i doing.. haiz.. is alway i intiate conversation.. i noe they bz.. but lolx.. frenship will become memories when we get less familair with each other

forget n forget

Monday, September 27, 2004

:D a five star performance frm a delivery boy

nv write for 2 day.. but dun tink any1 mind.. lolx.. writing is a formality only..

okie.. saturday nth happen.. except rot online.. play gb with frens.. lidat lo..


i woke up early.. i slp at 4 previous nite n wake up at 7 becoz of tooth ache.. now still gt lingering pain.. sianz

den play cm4 until cw msg me to fetch me to comfort driving center where his dream gal is wokring

=.= promise to do tat ting den reali must do lo..

he so gd to take me by TAXI..

haha.. fetch there le.. he told me the instruction.. quite simple la

" go ask counter for doris goh.. when a person come out, ask whether she is doris goh.. n den deliver her the gift.. n saying some1 sent me to deliver 1.. but dun say name.. den still haf to say hapi bday n so on.."
actuallly i wan say more rouma things.. but scare tio beaten to death..

haha.. i very steady sia. once i go into the lobby, den i go ask 1 person where the gal is.. den she point to a gal who is serving a customer.. hehe... i heck care.. i go straight to the gal.. den deliver the speech in clear n concise english..muahaha.. den customer who she is serving say " so sweet".. n so on.. wah heaven nv produce such a nice script.. den i see other customer oso come wish her hapi bday.. den i say hapi bday n thanks n gd bye..lolx

haha.. the gal blush sia.. reali .. quite red.. hmm to describe the gal is a very beauitful gal with nice white skin n nice long hair.. wow zhan~~!~!~..look like yang cai ni.. oo i can see her red cheeks n she keep on looking down n say thank u thank u.. haha.. i just delivery boi=x

lolx.. den if u wan to ask where cw.. he is at least 1 road away.. nervously waiting across the road.. i walk here to there so FAR. si kia.. scare until lidat.. why dun wait at entrance

hmm after tat thing, den we walk to nearby kopitiam.. den the gal called back.. haa.. i saw a very shy guy swaying here n there..den they tok n tok lo.. actually the gal quite ye man nu you.. i light bulb.. sian.. standing there nearby cw to b tortured by the HOT HOT weather... keep sweating..lolx

the gal dated him to go out dinner on tuesday...

hmm.. den we eat lunch n rot for other fren to come together to watch movie.~~

den haha i shun bian erm call a netfren.. she gif me her house number..*wink wink*

but sian hp call hm no.. my billl.......

the gal quite on sia.. she keep toking.. i like erm n hmm n uhmm.. ok la.. gt start some topic like wan to meet..tok abt 10min.. den nth to tok.. den i quickly hang it down.. so hard to tok to a gal..*sweat*

haha.. den funny sia.. the gal say i tok little..-.-"

den later the evening we watch police story.. haha.. some part lame n humourous.... some part romantic.. xie ting feng very shaui n lame.. twins oso.. action okok nia.. wu yan zu chao shuai n perverted...

gt 1 part like this 1.." yang cai ni, jackie gf in movie.. tio tied to bomb by wu yan zu.. den like very dangerous la.. den the gal say " can i ask a stupid qn".. do u love me.. den jackie chan funny expression" jin sheng , lai shi wo duo hui ai ni de" chao lame expression n dialogue.. u see movie den will realise..

hmm den gt a part where jackie chan escape frm police station.. wow.. lame n lame n lame..

must watch mOvie.. best To watch with ur gF.. u can say above dialogue to ur gf oso caN

Saturday, September 25, 2004

i feel old

i feeL damn depressed Now..

ask u 1 qn

will u still remember me 6 mth frm now?

i wun b online everyday..

i wun noe wat happens in ur life everyday

i cannt understand y u react like this react like tat..

weekend is nt euff for ppl to understand all this..

once close netfrens will become distant

all we shared memories could b just memmories tat we can savour together but nv get to relive again

all these crapping all these teasing.. doesnt it sound fun when it last..

but it does nt happen easily, it happen when 2 person get to noe each other well.. n when they r fated to noe each oTHer

hope i can still b a part of ur life n u caN b a part of my life in a few mth

buT... it will b hard.. i haf seen proof..

i will noe more thing n more evidence sOOn!!

Thursday, September 23, 2004

gals eat me alive


i zhu ding bei nu ren qi fu..


come n deceive me..

den i very serious n ask after u, u say u just pulling my leg..

hmmmmm boring life.. 27 days to NS.. bday ah..10 more days bahz

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

a raining day n 29 days to NS

haha.. i siao liao.. counting NS enlistment day.. ppl alreadi keep on reminding me liao..=x kaoz.. i noe i laugh at u all abt uur enlistments..

same old day.. raining whole day.. online all day lo.. hah nth special happen to me.. i m rotting.. maybe i should go learn frm my fren to go read n read.. he crazy ~!~!

hmm 1 netfren bday.. i alway can only do this few tricks.


1) say hapi bday on the dot of 12 or at least after 12

2) send yahoo greeting..

3) send midi hapi bday.. i like it becoz it sound soulful on piano.. hope every1 like it

4) present.. wat present i can send online..haha..

5) announce it on msn..=x

hmm i tink i haf say hapi bday to most of my netfrens liao... all noe at least 1 yr liao mahz..horhor.. gt 1 person hapi bday soon.. n last yr i gt say hapi bday to her..say twice to her..omg

so long frenship~!~!~!

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

i hate life

hmm.. just spend a normal day online.. yea going to watch liverpool vs man u later in the nite with my frens.. now all sleeping..-.-.. i also sleepy.. haiz

duno why i feel so lost these days.. no aim no life no motivation.. n personallly a few netfrens nv reply me.. make me feel so frustrated.. hmm getting less n less involved in other ppl life.. arghh.. dun wan tink dun wan see dun wan to tink of her

Monday, September 20, 2004

blah 0-0 draw

haha.. 0-0 draw.. nt bad la.. at least arsenal still ahead..

hehe.. just now the manager of chelsea very funny sia..lolx.. say wat the opp team manager alway say abt his team last season..wahaha.. lolx.. quote " they r nt there to play football.. they just defend n defend.."

haha.. so funny.lolx

hmm monday.. duno why nv blue liao..haha.. hapi person dun blue.. i guess..

today is sept 20.. 1 mth frm now i will b inside tekong.. miss u all

Sunday, September 19, 2004

i just wan to play soccer everyday every moment


today the crunch clash... cool.. we thrash NS guys 4-1 although i did nt score any goals.. haha.. but fun la.. becoz previous warmup match i warm up with a hat trick.. but sad now becoz arsenal drew.. no 100% perfect record.. i hope hotspur will score 1-0 win over chelsea

soccer is fun.. the ppure joy of doing tricks n outsmarting ur opponents..haha.. but ah no speed.. if nt i tink i wioll b a very gd soccer player..

i wish i wish to play soccer every moment.. let this dominate my life... life is full of squares.. u allow how many percentage of which square dominate ur life is how u gona make urself better n hapi

very tired now..sleeping n sleeping.. life is so complex.. but yet so simple..

i must tell myself to look forward n outward.. dun b squeezed into a tiny little square.. who like to b constrained..

so erm good riddance to whoever hurt me.. no more treasuring things tat do not treasure mysself:P

Saturday, September 18, 2004

haha.. injured


feel happy today becoz finally i get to play soccer.. only thing tat ever make me hapi

cool la.. score quite a few goals beisde nt playing for 2 months.. play on court.. although i fat but i do score goals.. natural to me.. hee.. score a stunner today.. a goal any1 will b proud of.. i hit it well n it bend... keeper tot it is out but it bend .... wow.. u can see the bend ...keeper n their players stunned..wahaha.. every1 on the field stunned.. o.o getting proud liao.. but really nice lo.. u haf to b there to appreciate its beauty

hmm soccer is my love n alway my love..

beisde soccer, still the same day as alway.. nt much ppl to chat with.. gb n gb.. i mad le

Friday, September 17, 2004

THE aimOf LIfe

ever wonder wat ur aim in living? u will notice it will change everytime every moment
.. not becoz u r fickle..just tat u r changing every min every moment.. sometime u wish to do something sometime u wish to do another thing.. n sometime it is in conflict with the thing u wished for

only change is constant.... u wun understand any person including urself well euff.. becoz ppl gt impulse ... ppl haf desires.. ppl haf hope.. they will act on it n therefore adapt urself accordingly..

ppl say i emotional.. but erm i dun tink so.. i tink i totally devoid of emotions

i do rush into things.. i do regret after doing so.. but i just cannt feel for it.. haha..

maybe i seem like crapping alot.. maybe all i do is to get ur attention.. maybe all i do is hurt u disturb u.... ahh maybe u just tink i a disturbance..i do noe i very disturbing.. i do noe i very irritating.. i do noe i do nt sound like a nice person.. but ever wonder why i do so....

hmMM..nt going to tell u...but i really can say is i will alway b there for a fren.. maybe could nt help.. but i try help try to listen.. try to b a visible fren...but duno who will understand my pain of being invisible

oops getting emotional or devoid of emotion?

Thursday, September 16, 2004

being too emotional??


m ibeing too emotional?

judgoing frm last few post, it look so...

but i dun regret writing it..

becoz it is to fa xie

.... nt much ppl chat with me nowaday.. my skill getting worse becoz no 1 to chat with mahz

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

no more nice guy


although i dun wan admit it,

but i tink i m losing frens le..

although i have been nice to her w/o expecting things.. but somewho ppl cannt tolerate my poor points..

if lidat.. see each other online oso sianz..

RU GUO BU ZAI YOU PENG YOU GAN JUE, WO MEN JIU........................

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

bu qiu hai shi shan meng.. dan qiu jin ri yong you

ahh.. finally i understand something... it beta to treasure now than worry abt future things.. i may lose u.. but beta treasure the days i nv lose u.... hey u can ignore me now.. or u can dun tok to me.. but u wun haf much time to do so le la..i m going off le.. i m going some place
maybe u just look at me as a netfren, unimpt person....maybe u just kelian me.. just hope tat u dun treat me as trash.. throw me at doorstepp.. i just wan treasure everytime i tok to u.. i nv expect alot thing frm ppl.. i just expect attention n respect

laggy blog

today is tuesday.. nv write for a few days.. actually wan write everyday.. but feel blogspot too laggy.. dulan dun write..

hmm..saturaday is saturday.. sunday is sunday.. monday is monday,,

everyday has its happening.. but all the same.. i stay at home play gb or online..

haha.. life is tat worse for me

after WWW, a mth of rest. NS date is oct 20.. feel every1 is reminding me abt bdays.. lolx.. kaoz.. make me feel i should b concerned abt my bday.. but lolx.. i dun seem to celebrate my bday 1.. my most memorable bday is the mi fen n 2 eggs.. prepared by my mum.. becoz tink is the last time she ever celebrate my bday.. n lolx wun b celebrating my bdays ever..n oh erm a surprise cake by my siblings.. nthg much.. my 19 bdays all the same 1... simple pass 20th bday coming soon..hehe.. still the same la.just a simple day pass by..

hmm hapi bdays to whoever bdays is coming soon.. n hope u all get ur wish come true... n haf a wonderful bdays...

=x.. counting down to ns..36 days to NS

Thursday, September 09, 2004

doWN n out.. work 3 long days..


i feeling so down n lonely..

work n work.. arghh

making mistakes at work.. tio bai yan by colleague..

frens all going oversea or in NS...

netfrens all cold n untalkative... alway i find ppl chat... nobody ever say hi to me when they online or saw me online.... i guess i erm 20 th or even 100th in line for a chat with a person ba

i so pathetic.. i just wan to grumble.

lol i guess is normal..maybe i outgrown net chatting

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

hmm meet some netfrens but no feelings..

well today is my 2nd day working at WWW during this intensive workweek..lolx.. late for work..=x.... den heng heng go work exit... monday cannt work at exit becoz of newcomer

hmm meet netfrens.. today is a day of fated meeting

first example: i was having my lunch break at ntuc foodfare.. when lijun n her fren come i was enjoying my chiekn rice..-.-.. den saw them come sit next to me.. hmm no appetite liao.. only eat half half nia... den quickly zhao ^^V

hmm den lijun n her frens all come ard WWW.. see they float ard WWW entrance.. i oso sian 1/2...-.- .. den duno is i zhu dong or wat.. den quickly wave them inside.. den let them through..nv really tok to them.. hmm maybe i look dao or wat..haha.. but i haf to act normal becoz gt cameras n supervisor.. cannt really tok.. *sorry to who asked me for going to thier bbq*.. cannt really tok to him.. n oso i too tired after work to go to bbq with erm bunch of "strangers"...

haha.. den they inside for a few hr until i end my shift.. weelung n me at the exit playing ard.. den oso cannt tok..wahaha.. den quickly wave them through.. wow... n best of all.. MISS LIJUN nv tok to me at all.... alamak nv even hear her voice.=x

2nd fated meeting: peishan n xiusen..

actually i caught a glimpse of them passing thorugh WWW entrance.. 1 wear white n the other wear blue...dun tink they saw me

den after work when i leave WWW, i saw xiusen n peishan n 1 more guy fren.... hmm walk towards each other.. den duno why.. i decided to say halo to them.. as hmm maybe we wun get to see each other until maybe next life=).. i walk alongside them den keep on saying hi to them.. finally caught their attention..hmm wat greeted me is huh n so on.. dun tink they recognized me.. hmm haf to repeat u r peishan so many time den gt respond..-.-.. " u jincai ah" " u just off work " lol.. den i saw them quite bz.. 1 keep looking at her hp.. den i oso gt nthg to i quickly zhao la..

haha.. wow.. i keep zhaoing..hMM.. dunnoe lehz.. no tots..maybe frenship fade le

Sunday, September 05, 2004

long time no Write le......

hmm.. long time i nv visited my blog..lolx.. too bz with my pt work...too tired.. n chionging my gb.. so lazy to write my i wan to write 1 long long 1.. see whether u will yawn after reading it..

my WORK: ok i work as a guard dog in WWW.. although find it quite interestiing but after a few days, find it mentally exhausting.. really can kill ppl.. so i tink tat why WWW gt a high staff turn over rate.. colleagues==> hmm frenly but tink they resigned to see new guys alway working beside them.. read: colleague mean full time staff... ahh.. boss= bochap okok lo.. normal comment on them.. interesting workplace.. generally they will leave u alone.. oso gt interesting gals working there... no chio gals la.. working there can bio ppl wearing swimsuit.. but see long liao tink it quite normal.. n nth to see 1.. tink there is no HOT gal going WWW play.. all normal gals in swimswear.. nth tat can go to FHM.... haiz.. u noe standing at the entrance at a hot day alway make me headache 1.. haiz.. but heng i going quit soon after 5 days of marathon working at the place due to the school holidays..

Interesting experiences during Work: obviouly the most furitful things i expereinced is gt to hold many gals hand.. but it beside the point.. but haha.. tink the most thing i like is tat i gt to interact with the customers.. expecially i like to chat with young kids.. they so cute n nice.. haha i alway bluff them say there is crocodiles n shark in WWW.. lolx duno they believe arnot.. but cute la.. love kids.. hmm maybe i should try to b a school teacher? jincai= school teacher? wat a joke..

ahh.. times go quite soon 2 wks gone liao.. arghh.. NS coming soon.. i quitting soon.. back to my " normal online life"... but i feel i have less ppl chat le.. maybe is normal after we haf chat for so long le.. noe each other so long le.. nthg to tok le la... haf know most of my netfrens for at least 1 yr liao
1 yr very fast hor... i treasure the 1 yr n 1/2 chatting online very much.. the experiences n chatting with them arnot.. they brought with them alot of ideas n tots.. i tink it help improved me as a person..hopefully i gt make their life interesting..lolx..i quite hapi to hear tat some of them told me life wun b the same after i go NS.. maybe is soothe my ego.. but it worked..haha.. feel hapi after they say tat.. at least i felt tat i had been

human ego n pride..haiz

haha...afternoon nick : "i going to die next week".. gt ppl come ask me whether i go NS ah.. so funny..lolx.. NO LA..I nt going Ns next wk.. i just working constantly frm 9-6 everyday next wk.. my ns Date: OCT 20... thank u thank u.. any1 wan to meet me for dinner? lolx.... i tinking of organizing a dinner to gather my netfrens.. but tink impossible..haiz...

hmm interesting of note: ppl do change after NS.. more evidence shown tonite.. ppl become more thin skinned..

hey if i change after NS, do let me noe if we r still frens.. or we haf become strangers who just say hi n how r u..

i dun wan to b like tat with u all.. i wan to b a part of ur life.. no matter how small..

hmm maybe i getting my emotion ruling me..or just tat i care for ppl more than they care for me..

arghh.. i DUN WAN to b stranger to U

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

ahhhhh.. today is a blue monday

.. same thing everyday.. sometime i tink why i write blog for..lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ahhhh.. the gal nv sms me alot of days liao.. sms her she no reply.. saw her online.. nv tok to me for a few sentence den say buai.. b4 tat she online very long nv reply me..aww.. is she ignoring or avoiding me? ..lolx.. so interesting problem

sunday saw national rally.. i alway saw national rally becoZz Goh chok tong alway make it sound interesting.. watch it for past 4 yrs new PM new style.. although sometime he sound sianz.. but actually can hear his passion for his vision .. his new Singapore.. haha quite a few jokes oso.. make atmosphere nt bad... i like his policies being lined up.. very extensive.. totally will chnage the society..lolx.. but is too much chnage is gd??

"if it aint broke, dun fix it.." normal expression

lee hsien loong 1" if it aint broke, maintain it" ^^v.. sound very nice but hard to

i sound so old.. maybe i should b the orchard type...gaga.. duno who is the new PM ..=s.. nv watch news

. changing lifestyle.. dun b trapped in comfort zone.. doesnt we all want to change??

haiz.. i tink i alway in a comfort zone which is called Singapore..everything is being mapped for us.. lol.... even the tots tat we should make more risk make more entrepreneurship is being lined out in govt policies//lol

govt want us to tink ourselves.. but depend on govt too long.. can we tink?

for me personally, i m a person who wanted little..
ppl wan jobs, ppl wan money, ppl wan gf.. ppl want material wealth

yet i duno.. i gt no needs or wants.. i live frm day to day.. i gt no hp old model.. i dun even haf a mp3 player.. haha.. i only gt a stupid com with a internet connection

yet i felt the need to break out frm this thinking.. should i crave more so i go aim more n achieve more??

yes i tink i should do tat.. i feel i must do someting to my life.. empower it..i dun need gfs.. i dun need money.. i need empowerment.. if getting financial rewards or material wealth or even happiness is the rewards, den i should work hard in my life.. dun b a wasted man.. must b a jincai who leave memories in ppl heart.. curry chicken time oso gt lots of ppl come to my

20 21 year old formative years..the turning pt of life.. i haf my gifts n achievements b4.. i haf my set backs n falling down.. but doesnt it sound like part n parcel of life..i should try achieve more.. n fall down more..

well dunnoe is i lying to myself or i really doing it.. i just feel like toking it.. i just wan to do something to my life

Sunday, August 22, 2004

a day of provoking ppl


i m very gd today.. i make a few ppl angry at different lol

angry in different ways.. but still angry with me

sad sia.. i alway lidat 1.. will they forgive me??

lolx.. today fren who work there in www say like gt 100% i will be employed

say schedule gt my name n uniform for me is being prepared.. is tat gd news??

hmm why all ppl like www? i dun see alot of nice things in www..

except alot of bikinis gals..

erm i hope i can stay awake at that job n nth happen to me.. pray pray

Saturday, August 21, 2004

hmm a funny interview


today rain whole day.. so song.. make my room so dark until i have to switch on the lights

lolx.. den afternoon a call come in.. call me go interview( raining at tat time somemore)

haahahah.. wild wild wet here i go..

go there see my fren working .. like so eng..

lolx.. den see tat supervisor.. den interview.. wah .. last 5 min.. totally waste my 30 min trip there..

basically the interview go like this

interviewer( looking very earnest) :" who recommend u to this job"

still very gong interviewee(looking like a dork): huh?

interviewer repeat again

interviewee: " wenqiang"

interviewer :" how long u want the job n wat time u can work"

interviewee: " i can only work to start of oct.. becoz gt enlistment .. blah blah...."

interviewer( look totally disinterested): " ur fren is going off next mth.. will u b able to work w/o them? i dun wan .............. blah blah"

summarize: dun work in this job becoz u gt fren inside n dun even tink of doing same work schedule with fren.. must b responsible

interviewee: " i wun.. n blah blah"

summarize: basically deny wat he say

interviewer: " why u wan the job "?

gong interviewee: " basically wan to pass time"

den like a parrot keep repeating when he try to prod for some reasons..

interviwer( now totally sian 1/2 n began stretch his body) : " any qn u wan ask me?"

interviewee ( try to tink of qn )..

a moment pass. still no qn to mind.. ask dumb qn

" how much is the pay ?"

wahahah.. so funny.. erm still gt somemore.. but basically like this la.. lolx..lolx.. n someore i keep huh

so this is a nightmare interview u all should avoid.. the interview of gong lang

Friday, August 20, 2004

lolx.. life seem so smooth n boring


another bunch of fren go in le...

let me count


only left 2 3 guys


how to play soccer like this


man~!~!... i tink my life is damn boring.. erM.. ANY 1 kind euff to meet me??

hmm last week i meet 2 netfren.. i feel so normal.. haha nt nervous or wat..lolx

nt like first time..lolx.

maybe is xi guan le.. or wat

hmm i wan meet some netfrens.. they made me feel so happy n nice.. tink they very gd person.. but but

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

hmm.. days go very fast


i felt very happy

becoz nthg happen to make me sad..

i felt peaceful

lolx.. my msn nick : i wan to love u

den all come ask me why i wrote this

hmm.. reasons alot i guess..

but i wun say..

it so hard to noe why u love some1.. why u like some1.. somehow u like her

it is even harder to noe if the gal love u arnot

becoz i nt a person who is gd at guessing ppl feeling..

i tend to take words at face value

i guess i a blockhead

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Arsenal irresistable

hehe.. just now watched arsenal play everton

wow impressed by fabregas.. so gd sia.. bossed the game..

hmm.. now arsenal is 41 match unbeaten..

nottingham forest all time record is 42...
2 more

we r going to write ourself into history..

wow.. n a few yrs ago.. i tot arsenal is so gd already.. with overmars, anelka, petit..

now is invincible liao

haha.. even pires can b a substitute..omg omg..

bergkamp perform again.. my favourite player

hope i gt 10 % of his skll n brain

Saturday, August 14, 2004

now is 310am.. so i feel sian n ...


today is graduation day.. in abt 10 hr time, i will b in tp...lolx.. dressed in formal, excitedly looking ard.. n really experience once in a lfietime experience...lolx

but somehow

i feel

aww.. for now i feel tat i m nthg in the world.... i dun tink i can ever do something tat will shock any1... tat will make ppl remember me.. becoz i m just unnoticeable person..lolx

hmm tink i ccrave attention i so selfcentered..

Friday, August 13, 2004 is friday afternoon .. 1 more day to graduation

lolx lolx.. graduation day is coming.. the day i go up take diploma.. the day i finally can give back the matric card.. alreadi almost cut into half.. duno they accept arnot.. now feeling excited lo.. wait 3 yrs for this day.. the day i finally m a diploma holder.. woO..

sure will b fun tml.. but sian ah.. haf to wear formal.. dun like wear formal.. =(.. somemore haf to wear tie..

heehehe.. will see quite alot of botak there oso.. lolx lolx.. some fren i nv see frm the day we left tp..

will b fun la..

haha.. btw u can see the webcast of the graduation ceremony. it is at 2pm to 4 pm..

any1 interested.. go tp website.. htttp:// den go see the annoucement board.. den click on tp graduation ceremony link...

u can clearly see a webcast link there...o.o... if can record down for me, it would b fun

Monday, August 09, 2004

happy national day

today is 39th bday of singapore.. i feel proud of singapore becoz of many reasons..

nt becoz its histroy or govt.. is becoz of its small size^^V.. n of coz my memories n family here

i love ndp but once again i haf to watch it in frt of tv.

hope it will b a patriotic nite for me ..

i m happy..

i m very happy


Saturday, August 07, 2004

when dreams fail, practical things take over

haiz.. after alot of sad entries, i decide to write something gd.. becoz hmm i just now had a great nap..

now listening to wu yue tian sheng ming you yi zhong jue dui

hmm.. yeah.. true

life has its start n its purpose..haha.. somehow even if u wan to die or so sad until wan to kill urself, there alway tml there alway something tat pull u back frm the abyss of mmisery.. becoz something will lead u to the purpose of life..
maybe u havent found it now.. maybe u nv find it in the past.. but hey u gt to find it somehow.. u just march on in ur life
u see ur life.. dun u see alot of frens, dun u see ur family.. even if u sad n moody n watever mood u haf, they alway support u

let find our purpose in our llife.. let dun let down ur frens n family..

hmmMMmM.. ppl alway haf his or her moods.. let them cool down..=)

haha..why gals like competent guy? >.< herbalist affairs... why every1 like erhui??.. is becoz he is gd at doing things.. n a wondeful guy or becoz he really show his concern for u
why zhenlong cannt chase his dream to b in the carribean.. cannt dun do business..??? haiz

Friday, August 06, 2004

my wish, my dreams, my ambition

My dream:
i dream to meet u
i dream to love u
i dream to hate u
i dream to bring u on a love journey that we nv return frm
i dream to care for u
i dream to embrace u
i dream to make u happy
i dream to make u tink u r the luckiest gal in the world

My wish:

i wish i dun withdraw into my world but i m
i wish i dun b so passive that i m fearful of every1 but i m
i wish i dun b such a loser that i did nt achieve anything but i m
i wish i dun sit in front of computer writing this but i m
i wish i can have more topics to tok to ppl but i dun have
i wish i can b more talkative but i m nt
i wish i dun feel lonely but i m
i wish i can b the old jincai that is more cheerful n crappy n haf ppl scoldimg me for crappy n nonsense=)

MY ambition:
To be a person who is not me

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

hmm a new beginning?

well i m 'gone' for a few days

dun tok to netfrens at all..

play gb all the time

conclude a few things..:==> i m too dependent le.. cannt put feelings into things tat cannt b reciprociated..

well.... oso find out a few things..

guess i m losing u... guess i nv in ur heart at all

hehe.. watching soccer now..

life is full of everything yet emptied of everything.. somehow u haf to do something to fill in the everything..

wat ur life will b is how u make ur life to b=)

Saturday, July 31, 2004

today is my 51st post

hmm how days pass.. this is my 51st post.. guess i haf write for at least 1 mth i feel abt blogging?

well it is a way to fa xie.. a way to tink through the events tat happen.... a way to decide alot of tings..

haiz.. duno why today tink alot....

i feel desperately ignored.. haiz.. ignored here n there.. omg..

guess i nt the person they wan to see or chat with..

i feel very dejected.. i feel no energy

toking to some1 need energy

n i feeling very jaded.. now i feel even tired to handle 1 chat window ..

I really wan to block every1.. i really dun wan go the same irc channels liao..

I will miss every1 but maybe i should take a break.. take a long break frm every1.. take 1 mth? 2 mth? 3 mth?

who noes.. i guess i wan get away frm my com.. get FAR FAR AWAY FRM my com

Thursday, July 29, 2004

the only subject for today is food

hmm haha.. woke up ard 12.. sian ah.. must oversee the electrical wiring of my house... sian sian..
den cool.. fren call me go out.. he treat me dinner sia.. hmm sian ah.. go out frm 2pm.. can only eat at 6 becoz still need to wait for frens.... lolx.. rot ard in tm n century square for 3 hr i tink... hmm so if u saw 3 boliao guys walking ard in tm, yeah tat us n omg why u nv go ask autograph frm us since we walked like models

haha jk jk.. hope u smile at tat..lolx.. hmm den we walked to hans in east point.. =x..  exercise b4 food.. gee... den half way we  sit down at void deck table n  feed mosquito.. hey we walk ard tm for 3 hr.. guys need to rest oso..haha

HmMm.. siao siao lehz.. we suddenly tok abt love..omg.. 3 big guys toking abt love..-.-.. i guess ppl can b sian until tok tat.. hMmm my 2 fren pro lo.. all say they r victims of love..wahaha..  me nt  victim of love la.. eh dun tink i noe love.. do i noe wat love?? wat is definition of love??

as a fren say==> for him, love some1 mean w/o her ard u, u will feel bu zhi zai... alway thinking of her..

wah is tat true??

haha well those who see my blog is gals.. i guess u all noe more than me.. gt time must tell me hor

eh. write so long havent say abt food..

haha nice food at hans buffet la.. u can eat everything under the sky..lolx except the expensive 1 lo.. hmmMm
my fren so gd at make soup.. i duno how sia.. i could only put meat at there n stir ard.. guess all ppl noe it.. wo shi wu luo yong de ren.. (u noe the song?)

i did nt eat alot la.. or nt my expected amt.. guess i lost appetite over life..... my fren keep asking me eat more.. but but

hehehe.. eat finish den walk back to tampines lo.. exercise again...

once back hm , bath den online liao.. but suddenly feel very tired... must b the food

today alot of topics to tok in chats with chienwen, lian jie , meiqi.. only peishan alway make me vomit blood..
haha miss lijun dun even tok more than " hi" den i reply with a i m tired..den she reply " go slp la"... eh abt 1230pm or 1 something lehz.. i nv slp early lehz..

1 topic is  abt  johari window(personality test.. go search google)

guess i nt a gd person

guess i nt gd euff for any1

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

lolx lolx lolx.. laggy gb..=s

now is 4am .. almost 4 am la.. sian ah.. gb lag..lolx..

hmm ppl say i active at nite slp at day.. ask me how i adapt when i gg into ns..

hehe.. guess i haf to adapt la or i die.. everyday 20 push up will sian 1/2.. lolx.. but on bright side, can train arm mahz.... become muscle guy..lolx

=P.. erm whole day nthg special happen.. it just pure siannes.. hmm i wonder if ppl like to live a peaceful or noisy life???

haha.. just now c peishan pic with the guy.. the guy is who ah???? hehe.. pro sia.. gd caption.... so peishan do see guy 1 ..OmG.. still say no shuai ge in sentosa..lolx

ErM..eee.. some1 say i alway tok the same things 1.. m i so boring or 1 way track? omg..i tink i sound like a recorder i guess.. but hmm no happenings in life.. how to b exciting ahh,,

sometimE  life has to B exciting...iF nT passion will drop n lIfe will b monotonous..

eh.. i counting .. do i say i like u b4??

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

erM siAN ah

so  sian.. nt talkative.. tio ignored.. hungry.. arghh. wat did i do to deserve this??

when i tio ignnnored, i really no mood liao..


haiz.. wat a waste of our time.. guess i haf to forget abt u

Monday, July 26, 2004

monday coming again.. i nt a gd bf.

hehehe.. now is 4am i still alive.. later gg to watch brazil vs argentina mahz.. confirm cool match..

erm.. sunday alway nth to say 1.. alway so sian.. monday blues now.. so sianz ah

just now chat with meiqi.. she tio serious dose of monday blues.. haha.. erm say wan to rebel.. dun wan to b guai guai.. dun wan to conform to the order of society.. wana skip sch..hahahaha.. no la.. she dun wan to b bad.. just dun wan to b wat she was..

why every1 wan to b some1 else..  i oso wan to b some1 lehz.. i wan to b more open, outgoing, nt so dao.., more daring more ........

but i guess it mean losing some valuable part of urself bahz..

i guess fate has shaped us n so it will have something gd happen to us.. lol

just now miss cailian gif me a url.. quite a nice url.. well it doesnt work it nv motivate me.. i still tink i worthless junk.. haha.. but looking at the beautiful scenery showed in the slideshow.. it does gif u some warm feeling.. i guess i really haf to go out to the world.. i wan to b free like a bird.. i dun wan to tink.. i wan look at nature n decry why fate has made me wat i m.. every1 seek peace.. every1 seek to make peace with themselves.. so haf u found it urself??

gaga..i dun make a gd bf.. my netfren say so.. lolx.. i tink so bahz..

i guess i wan to b alive

Sunday, July 25, 2004

lovely soccer.. tio injured

woop.. woke up at 2plus ..omg.. alway slp so late.. den fetch my bro to cca..:P

den sudden call.. we need soccer players at tp..  so i go..haha

den play long long .. few wk nv play.. but nv lose score a nice goal..

so proud of it..:D... go past 2 defenders n shoot past keeper .. no chnace for keeper

but tio injured for last few games.. so erm hobble ard la.. cannt liao.. sian

i wan play soccer.. i wan get rid of lousy tots..

hehe.. so funny get a sms.. chienwen tio stranded at marina bay..wahahaha

eh.. n now chatting with a pretty gal.. she super nice to me..:P.. but haiz she gt tragte le.. n i hmm still ____________

Saturday, July 24, 2004 is 3am

hmm.. 3 am liao.. so nice.. but boring sia.. most of ppl slp le.. only gt 1 2 night cats.. sad:(.. nth much to say.. as ncie day as possible.. no ppl kajiao me.. nice chat with frens.. nice gb

wat can i wish for more?

eh..should i chnage my blog? every1 blog is nicer than me..haha

lolx.. how i wish some1 will like me..=P

Friday, July 23, 2004

mouth pain.. sore eyes..


haha.. today mood nicer since i slpt yesterday earlier.. at 130am i tink.. wahaha.. early hor.. n i watch soccer on tv.. soccer alway heal me^^....

nthg much to report..just alway gbing m cm4ing.. wat a boring life..

arhhh... give me something to write omg

.. headache..

lolx.. so wonderfully sian today.. but 2 event conspired to make me angry n now headache.. n HMm i cry for awhile..*gUys do cry U NOE*

hmm do cry alot make ppl headache.. i really headache.. arghh

lolx.. my life sux.. just really sux.. dun care abt ppl who say life will b better or watever bullshit.. guess it sux..

well wat make my life sux? to me, only 1 thing is impt.. guess if tat thing is in conflict with urself.. guess it will make u very sad n angry.. wat a  quarrel today.. make me xin suan..

guess it will blow over.. but now i m filled with indignitation n alot of hurt..

arghh.. now i tink i really a crybaby..sian

hmm.. meet 2 old frens.. how i wish to walk past them.. but cannt ah.. walk staright on.. can only make small talk.. all asking abt army thing..lolx.. boliao.. guess their life is revolving away frm me..

hmM.. Guess every1 life is revolving away frm me.. guess i m alone again..

i did run away frm home b4

erm brain sotz liao.. i m just grumbling.. take no notice

Thursday, July 22, 2004

wednesday.. the middle of the week

lolx.. i duno how many weeks had passed since my last day of sch.. i so happy when i left sch.. now feeling damn sad+angry+ so many negative feeling.. so to whoever in poly, pls treasure ur poly days.. it is the best..

i still dream of the days my frens n i play soccer on tp street soccer coutr, the way i alway go copy ppl tutorial, the way i alway walk ard in tp bio chio bu.. alway like to go biz sch..~.~.. the canteen food.. the way i alway stay late at sch playing gb~~.. the way i alway bully ah kuang.. the way we alway called lecturers stupid nick.. those r the days...

haha.. of coz the best memory is the lectures.. i alway like to slp in lectures.. haiz.. havent choose which lecture hall is best for sleeping..woot

hehe.. i sound so bad.. but those r the activites by a normal poly student.. the rest of student who doesnt do tat r abnormal..wahaha

eh.. lolx.. grad cermony coming.. duno wat i feel tat day.... sad? depressed?

ahhhHH.. i guess i nt the best of ppl to chat with these few days.. becoz i miss

i guess.. i wonder.. if some1 can replace tat something

Sunday, July 18, 2004

ahHH monDay is coming sooN..

lolx.. bought a new house.. lauya 1.. but can work can liao.. i near qian juan gei wo ba.. donate money to me bahz..lolx.. forget mark lee sound n tune.. i nt taleeted in music..arghh

hehe.. nth happen oso these day.. just gone for a farewell dinner yesterday.. saw a gd gal fren gone.. n another fren sad.. n he so romantic.. gif the gal a present.lolx..he gt a romantic interest on the gal..haha

hehehehe.. the present is , guess wat, is a clock..wahaha.. song zhong..

LOL...but the intention is romantic.. i touched by it.. duno abt the gal.. duno if i gt the thing inside me give the gal i like a romantic gift..haha..

wat gift a gal would like lehz??

i duno for sure.. if who noe, can tell me mahz..haha

i wish i can give a romantic gift..lolx.. but the person so far away..

Saturday, July 17, 2004

sian ah ..stupid mouse

stupid mouse stupid mouse.. beta write this b4 my mouse spoil 100%.. du lan mosue.. sianz..  tml hopefully is gd day..lolx..

Thursday, July 15, 2004

lolx.. 1 wk nv write

hehe.. 1 wk nv write liao.. nothing really happen mahz.. just online offline sleep eat..lolx..boring life..=x
eh.. si snow oso come see my blog... still duno who gt come n read my blog..-.-
so bored.. ok la.. say something interesting tat happened in my life.. nice problem actually..lolx.. abit nonsense..
erm 2 gals n 1 guy..lolx..they had said they liked me in some way.. they almost everyday sms me.. sms content abit erm risque(duno spell rite arnot).. aishiteru so on sms flirting is actually very fun.. hopefully is nt i leading them on=x
1 gal is very outgoing.. verydaring... she dare to say things i dun dare to ask.. loook ah lian.. but quite nice gal la.. alway worried abt hw n so on..alway wan to meet me but i scared..haha..lolx..  alway call me deardear-.-.. hMm say i alway understand her best..
the other gal more reserved.. very devoted to her faith.. church gal.. alway go cell grp n so on.. hmm doesnt really tok very flirty la.. just normal chat.. but feel tat she like me.. n she say so  in some way....duno why she like me..haha.. but she alway sms me everyday..i tink she gt limitless sms..lolx.. nice gal very pretty w/o specs.. look neat with specs.. hoho a gd wife example..=) but then omg she alway call me poopoohead..
actually still gt 1 more gall but this 1.. very quiet lo..alway i sms her first.. actually i mentioned her in prev blog.. but she ahem continue to "like" me after i gently declined.. so erm this continues..
lolx.. i tink i write this to seek attention..wahaha.. but actually i dunnoe how to solve this.. is i leading them on or is my wishful thinking? but then actually i dun tink i wan get involved with them..but sms fliritng is fun.. so erm this continues..lolx.. i so bad..
.. the other thing is i believe after i go ns, all this internet thing n frens will just vanish..lolx.. oso i write this becoz i dun tink the gals will come see this..i dun tink they haf the address

Saturday, July 10, 2004

happily living in a world of his own

i wan to tell a story..

there is a person who lived happily by himself..

he dun dream of anything

he dun care for anything..

he just studied..

wonderfully he gt 6 As in his olevel..

but he dun feel happy.. he has no 1 to celebrate with.. he has no 1 to an wei him for his failed english

but somehow 1 day , on that particular day,

he is sure he should nt b so alone

he wan every1 to join in his world..

he wan to invite ppl

but this silly boi do not noe how to do tat

he joined poly instead of jc

wanting to make a fresh start

buut 3 yrs on

he is still in the same situation

how he wish some1 will care for him

will get to noe him

will help him rectify his mistakes

but days passed..

the hare still nv come n the hunter remained there alone n sad

loneliness will claim him tonite

but how he wish tat god has nt claimed his dearest person in his life

tired old man

old liao old liao.. cannt chat liao.. cannt tink liao.. getting slower n slower...

nthg happen today.. n nthg will happen tml.. lolx

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

lolx.. 2 day nv write.. gb down

haiz.... yuan lai life is lidat....

i watched child hope..

once again i feel a sense of sadness..

u live for others.. ==> is tat the meaning of life..

i wonder.. so gt any1 of the ppl live for me?

welllllll i can say no 1 live for me..

although they love or like me but i dun tink they depend on me or anything..

if i gone, i just a name on their memory..

A "hole" in the heart

a child w/o a parent has a hole in their heart.. the happiness will just flow through their hole.. they will nv hold the happiness n therefore nv noe true happiness..

how true... i dun tink i noe true happiness..... can u describe happiness to me?

Sunday, July 04, 2004

feel peaceful

haha.. sian arh.. now no gb play.. server down again.. so bad 1.. wan to deny me frm playing..sob sobz..lolx.. tink i get my life back le.. lolx.. some ppl do thing tat made me happi.. thanks to them lo..

now i feeling peacefull.. sleeping soon.. sweet dreams to al.. bye.. hope tml or today will b a happy day

cut New hair

haha.. refreshing sia.. cut short short.. my prev hairstyle too long le.. look like zaizai 1.. si bei long.. ma fan.. alway get into my eyes..-.-|||

now short short 1.. gd gd sia... refreshing.. can feel the sunshione on my head.. seem more happy too..lolx..

nothing to report.. just lamiing ard with netfrens.. haha.. sunshine boi is backz..^^V

Friday, July 02, 2004

drained of energy, life


i dun find energy to explore life le.. haiz

duno y these few days ppl keep saying i nt myself..lolx..wat is myself btw??= =

today is just the same.. btw gb is up.. so nice to haf something to play with

CHILD HOPE... hai you mingtian.. i catch every esposide.. i tink the story line very gd.. all the problems r so real n should b faced with some nan xing character say he cannt let go of the past... i personally tink ya every1 gt his/her past, y should they let go??

hehe.. i sotz sotz le.. can any1 help me?

Thursday, July 01, 2004

gong day.. feel sick.. still haf to suffer the humiliation of "so"

arghh.. i tink i sick le today.. duno why online at 11am.. den feel so tired.. eyes cannt focus.. head giddy..alway like wanna fall down tink the worst is over.. but i dun tink i tio fever or wat

i tink i tio computer sickness.. the sickness gotten frm overusing com..haiz..

stare at com tink gt 10 hr per day.. no wonder tio it..

haiz..duno la.. will stay up to watch portugal vs holland.. wun miss it.. i die oso will watch 1..hehe

i still haf some unresolved issues to solve.. i so tired

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

i dun wanna tok

lolx.. now is 215 am wednesday.. few day nv uplate blog.. but now come n write.haha

erm first ting i must say: gb sux n pls b up soon

2) no gb, so i go play fairyland..

haiz.. alot of thing i learnt frm fairyland..

actually i very gong
nt suitable to play intelligent games.. maybe i nt smart euff bahz..
response slow too
everything so lousy..haiz

i conclude the reasons for my degradtion : is my long time of nt using brain.. i just life is just a empty road for me to walk on..

walk walk walk walk.. walk until can meet some1.. meet some1 who can brighten my life..lolx

really no mood to tok to some of netfrens le.. duno lehz.. maybe it just ..... my moods bahz

hehe.. actually i like to listen to ppl problems.. it make me feel tat i m nt the only person with problems.. i can try help them feel better.. bt i could nt help them solve problem.. it depend on them bahz..maybe that is my skill bahz..

so sian frenster no ppl write testimonial for me liao.. haha.. tink i disappear in their life bahz

Sunday, June 27, 2004

so sad hor.. my laopo is blind... need a transplant

gone for 3 days..lolx

becoz of my com spoil
3 days gone.. online life still the sianz

after 3 days gone w/o internet? wat had i learnt?

1)i finally completed my books i borrowed within 1 day

2)suddenly loved to sms.. kaoz.. must haf sent abt 100 a day..tsk tsk

hmm sat afternoon finally see my gd fren chee chun out of ns for the first time.. quite hapi to see him.. told me alot of thing abt ns

actually frm wat he said, i concluded ns is actually a extended stay in a nice island resort minus the hair n freedom

so nice of him to get a sea view n see aeroplanes
haf a single bed of his own
food sumptuous==> 4 vegetables n 1 soup + 1 dessert or fruit, 3 meals.. still gt supper snack..

segerant nt tat fierce bt must toe the line

still gt relaxation n amusement

days will b spent fast there

haha.. i wan go ns.=x

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

4 boiled eggs n 2 dumpling story

sian.. duno why i haf a craving to eat n eat.. si le.. you yao bian da fei zhu le..wahahaha

hmm.. anyway going to army le lo.. everyday sure eat san cai yi tang..3 vegeatble n 1 soup.. so sianzT.T


T.T... duno why i feel so distant frm netfrens le.. where my crapping power??T.T

ERM duno lehz.. really wan a break

money fly away

sian.. yesterday i wrongly buy a match.. i buy italy draw instead of sweden draw.. argh.. stupid cassano score the goal in the 95 min..-.- make me lose abt 28.50.. grrr..stupid italy.. why no draw mahz...:(

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

in memory of a neighbour

hmm.. dunnoe why life is so complex.. once it begins , we look at it with new hope.. when it ends, duno lehz.. recently my neighbour passed away.. a uncle who alway sit at the corridor repairing his bicycle.. although most of the time he look grumpy n look so fierce.. but he usually greet us with a look.. alway can see he zoom ard neighbourhood halfnaked..haha

he passed away due to heart troubles.. same as my mother......die suddenly .. leaving his family in grief..haiz..

den yesterday his wife tried to commit suicide.. at ard 10pm.. she wanted to jump frm her floor which is above us..6th is very dramatic.. alot of ppl standing at downstair n keep screaming " dun jump dun jump"... den...............................................................

"to b continued"

i wonder... if i die, who will grieve for me? who will wan to follow me along.. maybe i will wan her /him to live on.. but living w/o a loved one is so sad........ so unimaginable.. i tink it is the saddest thing in the world..wat will become of me if i lost a loved 1? maybe i will choose to....

Monday, June 21, 2004


haiz.. stupid spain .. stupid greece.. stupid portugal.. stupid russia...n STUPID ME...

arghh.. lose abt 30 dollars yesterday.. see the tickets until sian1/2.. no mood to tok for a day..-.-.. den after the match, i see my ceiling very long.. =.=.. cannt slp.. tinking of the thing i can buy with 30 dollars.. although nt alot to some of u.. but i can do many thing with 30 dollars.. i can buy instant noodles, frenhc fries, nuggets.. alot alot of things to eat..T.T.. my supper..=(

next time i really dun wan buy HT-FT LIAO

du lan.. play cm4 also lose allthe match.. arghhh.. MY STUPID LIFE..


Sunday, June 20, 2004

lose money

haiz.. poor me.. lose n lose.. why i a loser?

so sad.. stupid germny draw
stupid czech lose.. although it is half time only..

sian sian sian

if like tat, how??

i dun wan to b a poor guy.. i noe how to b ppoor..

pls any 1 teach me how to b rich?

haiz.. tiink too much le.. alway zhu ding to ..........

happy father days

Saturday, June 19, 2004

play gb whole day


play gb whole day.. i wan gh golden armor, robot x pet01 arch angel .
can any1 gif me?

sad sad sad.. so sian today.. no 1 wan chat with me.. poor me

Friday, June 18, 2004

now very hungry

wahaha.. now is 1115 friday.. si bei hungry.. today quite enjoyable.. stand in for a fren to work.. n can keep seeing chio bus.. bt too bad nv see alot..:'(.. why gals leg so smooth ah??

wat secret??

lolx.. beisde a nice afternoon of working n looking at chio bu legs=x, den nth le.. haiz

sian.. nthg to do=(.. now online doing nthg but VERY VERY HUNGRY NOW

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

after a few days


heh.. caught in euro fever.. forget n no time to write blog.. but due to audience pressure n exepectations, i decide to write 1 today..

hehe.. for past few days. is soccer betting mad liao la.. bet bet n alway go down to nearest betting outlet to hear market talk.. although i dun haf alot of betting capital n if i lose all, i wun bet le..

hmm.. rather lucky .. although lose all at first day but win the next 3 days.. tink recover lose n win by abit..

hopefully next few dats will have better luck, i wan to b rich!!!!!!!!!!

somemore, i wan money to meet netfrens.. hehe..she quite on to meet me but i no idea how to meet her n where.. see fate bah

boo.. i wish to have a interesting life.. go go portugal

Saturday, June 12, 2004

as usual


life as usual

gt 2 bday gals today.. send them sms n songs.. hope they like it..^^

while the day herald happy days for some, it may signal bad days for some.. hear frm a fren her bf aunt die at a young age of cancer..hmm havent married yet.. wonder life is tat vulnerable.. if so.. why ppl dun treasure it?

why i dun feel anyting for my life..?

btw, how much is repairing the shutter door of a shop cost? i hope it is nt tat ex.. hope for the best.. dun worry dun tink too much.. i noe thing will go well for u.. hao xin you hao pao

Friday, June 11, 2004

useless Life

nthg to say nthg to write.. dun really do anything of note

just felt that in life, u really need to b thought as useful

i really wan to feel i m needed in this world

but i tink in this world, i m just a person in the billions

who will care for me? who will feel in their life if i gone, they will actually miss something?

actually if ppl die, wat will b left of them?

MAybe a grave n a paragrapgh" in loving memory of.." ba

Thursday, June 10, 2004


i am a small man with small ears n small eyes..i just a person who need to noe he is needed in this world

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

lolx..sian ah


nothing happen

feel nothing oso

Monday, June 07, 2004> confused young man

hmm.. today go eat buffet to say farewell to some of fren who go into ns.. gong xin gong xin.. eat han river at east point..wah.. super delicious food but abit too ex.. sian 15 dollars.

EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT.. eat until i too stuffed..

lolx.. den walk back to tampines interchnage.. wana ctah a glimpse of a netfren.. but wu yue ah..haiz..

den 10++ online..

gee. kena scared by a app.. so funny.. lol.. when u click on it, a ghost face will come out after a few min.. very scary

=x.. tio blocked today twice.. sian..

hmm den today a very interesting gal come pm me..haha.. it let me noe tat i nt the only 1 who noe how the world goes..i just "think" i the 1 who noe..i m as wat she say " then u're a freaking self-centered asshole"..

brr.. maybe i m..haiz

Sunday, June 06, 2004

woman= weird oppressive mad aggressive natural problem


today saw funny nick of my fren==>"woman= wild+over-sensitive+materialistic+attitude-problem+nosey.."

hmm quite interesting n based on my short experience with gals.

geez.. i write the above definition.. quite stupid.. but


geez.. typicaly sunday.. sux to the core.. sian with ppl.. angry with ppl too

Saturday, June 05, 2004

hmm feeling quite ok... n eek.. i on tv on friday

haha.. sian ah.. today gt a netfren come back.. finally reunited>.<.. she suffer the terrible fate i dun wan to b bestowed on any1.. is her com spoil.. i duno sia.. for 2 3 wk she offline.. hmm.. is i bo xin?=x

haha...xinhui dui bu qi ah.. hmm i forget i gt ur hp no n hmm=x..but i gt try email least gt effort ah

another BIG newS: today finally broadcast me first appearance on tv..LOL

n who told me the news first=P.. another netfren.. i dun even noe... my fren oso n watch..

ARGHH.. this is wat she told me" when i recognized tat person on tv is me, i laughed until my mum come n see whether i siao arnot" nt exact words but same meanning..