Thursday, October 27, 2005

I GOING BACK

I GOING BACK
I GOING BACK I
GOING BACK

HOPE I WUN BURN MY WKENDS

IF U NV HEARD FRM ME

WISH ME BEST IN ALL THE DAYS TO COME
AT LEAST LET ME GET OVER NOV 30 IN A PIECE

WITH PEACE N JOY

JINCAI U THE BEST

disgusted

i too disgusted for gdness sake

i had tried my best bt i still tio fucked still get crucified.

monday bridage check.. totally disgraced.. say out alot of mistkaes..

mebbe my heart is not there already


i just cannt work there le

it did nt give me any satisfaction there le

my whole life just revolve ard this stupid camp

expressing my anger n disgust here is the onli thing i can do..

haiz..

i tink i going to burn my wkends

sian


why i nv take my off earlier

now gt 3 4 days off in lieu

disgusted
how many times i say it

it been a yr in this camp
maybe i been there for too long
i cannt wait to get out of here

afternote: there is no body who can tok to me le.. cailian go le.. lijun nv listen to me.. amelia is just amelia.. chienwen just chienwen./..yingying too bz.. yufen just .....hmmmmmmmmmmm

Sunday, October 23, 2005

let recall the world events

1984 oct 3

i m born


1989 jan 1

enrolled in kindergarden (TAMPINES PAP kindergarden at blk 261)

wear the silly blue uniform with tie eeks cant reali find pics of me..but can tell u i look tootz n cute

1991 jan 1

enolled into yumin pri sch which is near my hse again..
kao.. i cried lo first day.. but i like tat sch very much.. but hmm i quiet boi.. so i dun unsually attract ppl attention

zz.. i quite fuzzy abt my childhood memories.. everyday come home after sch.. sux.. do homework n play imaginary games..

haha.. i remeber a game i usually played by myself..

BUS INTERCHANGE

usually i will take something to act as bus.. hmm den i act as bus captain n bus driver..
hmmm si bei eek la.. now tat i remember

CONQUER THE WORLD

i imagine i conquer the world.. n hmmmmmm just daydream lo


i usually played by myself.. hmm i duno how i passed my 6 yrs but i did..

pri 4-6 i abit outgoing in sch.. lolz..interact more with ppl n teachers..
but somehow nobody become my close frens..

PRI 4 i remember i get second in class n my teacher asked me whether i wan to go to EM1 seeing tat i gt potential or so called potential

P6 PLAY TRUANT

somehow i cant take it le.. somehow i cannt take it.. P5 i struggle in studies.. PSLE YR I more stress.. Higher chinese more xtra lesson.. the expectation of being in the best class.. the self- presure i been giving myself.. everyday few days of class i will walk into sch den hide in the corner of the sch..after the asembly, i will walk out od the gate..lol security nt gd.. i tink... hmm bt evenetually will b caught 1 mahz.. they warned me once
they warned me twice.. but i too stressed.. finally.....
they called my mother into the principal office..
mebbe tat why i love my mother so much
she just stared at me n nv say much.. she cried.. i cried when principal basically recounted wat i do..
she noes the pain i go through....
although she alway beat me, alway throw me out of the hse for wat fuck thing i do.. ask me kneel for ages...
she alway noe she doing it for the best of me..
mebbe her love also alienate the the need of taking care of myself alienating myself frm reality
beoming a child tat nv grow up
haiz..
cannt blame her.. she just wan the best for me..for being me, i just failed to grow up as a person and just failed in duty as a person n as a son.. hmm i nv reali did well in psle.. 216 is my aggregate.. hmm i quite embarassed in 1 incident whereby the teacher announced the schs we chose.. n hmm my selection is the worst in the class.. mebbe i justhaf no confidence by then..hmm
so choose the worst aggregate sch i can ever find in prss.. although i was like placed in top 20 in class..ppl say i smart .. but i dun tink so.. i just haf the application.. if i choose to work hard, i can do it 1.. bu somehow my personlaity huh.. sux.. too passive
too quiet

1997 jan 1
i enrolled in sec 1...pasir ris sec.. sec 1/2
my form teacher is a motherly person who is calked ms serene toh..
so many subjects..

n i haf become a so called impish person..
i will play tricks n basically just wan attract person..
hmm
tio mother beating alot sia .. i remember.. but hmm
i dun go out with frens.. i dun reali remember 1 time i ever go to arcade with freen.. or go shopping centre to roam..
i will usually confine myself to home..
hmm doing hw work? dun reali remember

but tink watch tv alot
played alot in sch

too many subjects in sec 1..
strugglled
failed arts..
haha
but overall ok la
found my love in history.. love reading..
mebbe tat how i found my penchant for overimagining...

sec 2

haha adapted well to sec sch life liao.. kao kana tuition.. my mother la.. see my reuslts jialat enrolled me into tuiton at blk 201
every mondayw ed fri. sian.. sit there like gong kia
but found my love in chinese chess..
let me find a few fren who loved chinese chess as well
making more frens?
hmm make life easier
still as impish as ever
alway kajiao ppl
hmm but still nt close to ppl
ahh
become part of a gang.. played soccer everyday after sch..
haha.. but alway go home after 5
love playing soccer.. it a pleasure
mebbe when i m happy. then i do well in studies..
do welll in sec 2 streaming.. tink gt many A1..DUN reali remmeber how many
but get into second best class
becoz of the love for history
sec 2 is a fun period.. we r the worst class but we haf the most fun in sch..
i love sec 2.... miss goh chai peng my form teacher.. ncie teacher
sad to go to sec 3

sec 3
hmm ms ng meiling my form teacher..
haha duno why i alway tio females teacher... n i quite gum with them.,..
my report bk can show it..
n hmm i a hardworking student to them,..
sec 3 ok la
nt as funa s sec 2
but still a impish person
do make a impact in class
made alot of ppl noe my names..
me attract attention kia
but still nv interact much with ppl after class
alway go home?
n anyway i already started wrking after pri 6
lol maybe tat why i seem bz?
get gd results in sch
my reults alway tio compared.. n i do compare
i alway get top few placing


sec 4
olevel yr..
very serious.. i knew i haf to do well
i wasted many yrs.. i noe i can do welll

still a impsih person..
n alway get laughed at for my antics..
haha
i alway love presenting
i alway make ppl laugh
n hmm mebbe becoz i do nto present well
i alway try different tones to say words.. n do silly actions
hmm
bascially a person who r lookingfor attention

geek.. still a lonely with no best frens.. still working at my mother place..
iknew i haf to do well for my future..
i wan to go jc.. i wan make my mother proud
hmm the mth b4 i threw myself into a room
locke myself with a flask of water
with my testbook
n bascially studied whole day in room
hmm
i reali worked very hard
while working every wkend

olevel judgement day

THE STORY SHALL CONTINUE.. NO STAMINA TOW RITE FOR NOW