plans ahead? for this wk

uh.. today on leave (blk leave) la.. so sian.. dun wan to take 1 but bo biannnn..........

so nth much to do today.. woke up damn early today..

for past few days, nth much.. just planning on mon n wed.. den duty on tues.. den guards day on thurs..
our unit cannt make it.. losing alot of events to new recruits...
uh how to get RECON 1 sia

die liao la
hmm
but i learnt fighting spirit
lose alreadi dun gif up frm my Co
although can see him visibly disappointed.. he tried to motivate us thrgh his lau ya speecch..
haha.. unit cannt make it.. maybe due to his poor leadership.. always scold commander in frt of man, tink causing commander to be disillusioned and man to lose respect for commanders.. thus having a sub culture of bo chap...
guess he tried his best..

hmm i tink i have to try my best in watever i do.. if fail once, must try twice.. if fail twice, must try countless time..
fighting spirit..
today do nth but read books n study my biz n finance..
sat do volunteer work..
sunday same old stuff..
hmm
maybe today wana gamble on tampines vs albretirex

bo money liao.. i poor guy

plans ahead? for this wk

uh.. today on leave (blk leave) la.. so sian.. dun wan to take 1 but bo biannnn..........

so nth much to do today.. woke up damn early today..

for past few days, nth much.. just planning on mon n wed.. den duty on tues.. den guards day on thurs..
our unit cannt make it.. losing alot of events to new recruits...
uh how to get RECON 1 sia

die liao la
hmm
but i learnt fighting spirit
lose alreadi dun gif up frm my Co
although can see him visibly disappointed.. he tried to motivate us thrgh his lau ya speecch..
haha.. unit cannt make it.. maybe due to his poor leadership.. always scold commander in frt of man, tink causing commander to be disillusioned and man to lose respect for commanders.. thus having a sub culture of bo chap...
guess he tried his best..

hmm i tink i have to try my best in watever i do.. if fail once, must try twice.. if fail twice, must try countless time..
fighting spirit..
today do nth but read books n study my biz n finance..
sat do volunteer work..
sunday same old stuff..
hmm
maybe today wana gamble on tampines vs albretirex

bo money liao.. i poor guy

i wonder how mani ppl r actuali hapi in this world

hmm..
duno lei...
i guess all r nt hapi in this world..
every moment in this world.. gt at least 1 person tink of dying ..
i also duno wad to say...
i wonder can really be hapi?

i scared of real world..
i scared of myself
i wan to be hapi

wei jincai dun gif up on life yet!

i know i cant get anything in my life..
i born poor
yet i gt ambition
i wan light up my life
but somehow i just dun haf the fuel...
3 yrs in poly.. very slack.. yet damaging to my future
wonder if i choose wrong route of life.
but wta iis done was done..
i haf to soldier on..
i always gt competitive spirit..
i m nt smart
i nt even gd..
i just depend on luck..
i guess my luck has ru out...
my porud mentality does not let me gif up.. does nt wan me cower in fear of failure.. i hate failing.. i dun like to fail.. no matter in life.. i just wan to chieve watever i can..
sometime i tink i love to take the safe route.. so tat i wu face failure.
now i taken the first steps towards the sea.. hope i dun drown in it..
taking certificate in biz n finance..
applying for uni.. offering the chance of failure n rejection to god.
applying for driving basic theory, knowing i a cock person...
i wan take big steps toward a big future..
no risk, no gain~

how should i do now? no money.. no life... sumore my father is getting old..
my siblings going to uni... i dun wan to be burden,,,
i can and will succeed in life..
mother i wun make u disappointed..
failure will mean too much for me

.

off day

wonder why i feel so empty today..
went out with grace
feel so tired oso
duno wad went over mi ba..
just cannt brng out the mood in me
now i feel so sian liao.
tired of stupid life
wonder wad i going to do in 1 yr time


i very nt confident abt myself..
why i cant go into uni
it maybe the first time i gg to fail in my stupid life?
maybe the first time i deserve to fail?
i think that is wad i deserve to be so slack for past 1 yr in poly
getting a D in java n fyp
stupid me
nv tink of future
now i suffering
i guess i can nv forgive myself


but this is just a stupid test to me n my life
i guess i haf to overcome
but saying is easy
doing is difficult

i feel friendless
all my frens going into uni
while i stuck here in quagmire.
stuck in this mud tat i nv get off..
i feel so dirty
i feel so unaaccomplished.

will i still have my frens,my happiness next yr?